Cause even though I know there’s hope in every morning song, I have to find that melody alone.

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A note about love and appreciation

A student in one of my college classrooms recently lost his mother. He spoke up one day and this is what he said (paraphrased):

I hear people complaining all the time about their parents and how much they hate them and fight with them. And don’t get me wrong, my relationship with my mom wasn’t perfect but there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish she was here with me again.

I’m pretty sure I teared up while he spoke. It made me reflect on all of the things I have in my life that I don’t even think about on a daily basis. It made me think about the things I have lost recently and how cruel it is to know with more certainty than ever that you want something at the precise moment that it’s passing you by, like a freeway sign when you’re driving too fast down a desert road, no turnoffs for miles. There are things that I have lost that I would give nearly anything to draw close to me again. And this is its own type of tragedy. But there are things that I have in these existing moments that are right here; tangible, good, exhilarating moments with excellent people and bursting at the seams with good things. My cup is brimming over and I see it now.

A man I deeply love once implored that if you have love and appreciation for someone “tell them. Make it emphatic and often.”

These moments are transitory.

love and appreciation a note on love and loss full living reflections on life relfections on loss love loving life these moments are transitory


1. The day you left
was the day I thought
that I could not continue
living if it meant
living without you.

2. On the second day
of your prolonged absence
nothing seemed worth
doing. Not as long
as you were not doing it
with me.

3. On the third day
I realized there would be
no sign of your return
and that I would have to
keep going. Even if
that meant going on
without you.

4. On the fourth day
my hands finally had
the strength to open the
blinds and to rid of
everything that reminded
me of you. It was difficult
and it took me most
of the day to be able to
push all of the memories
beneath my bed.

5. On the fifth day of living
on my own, I worked up
the courage to tell all
of our friends what had really
happened. How you just left
one morning without looking
back, or even locking
the doors. They haven’t
heard from you since.

6. On the sixth day
your best friend asked me
out for coffee, said he knew
where I could find you.
I said I didn’t want to know.
I would rather have you
lost than to know you were
out there somewhere
without me with you.

7. On the seventh day
I woke up to a still empty bed
and when I rolled over
on your side I could no longer
feel where your body
used to lay.

8. On the eighth day
I took all of your belongings
to the end of the driveway
for the trash man to take.
I didn’t care if you still
wanted any of it.

9. On the ninth day
you texted me, and it took me
half of the day to summon
the courage to even open it.
Inside it read, ” I still love you.
I’m sorry. Please, let me
come home.” I never replied.

10. On the tenth day
I changed the garage
combination, the locks on
the doors, my telephone
number and the color of my hair
that you loved so much.
You are no longer welcome
in my home, in my head
and in my heart.

- "It took me 10 days to get over you," - Colleen Brown

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"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."

The Prophet
by Khalil Gibran

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